A day

Just when you thought you finally had it all under control.

All figured out.

When you realized it was a long time ago you felt this high in your energy.

You also made more progress than usual with your tasks.

You agreed to have that difficult conversation that you were not looking forward to.

With a lot of effort you stood your ground and that took all the energy you had for that day.

That was for you, a sensitive person, already okay and more than fine.

You might have even felt a bit proud of yourself that day.

Confident enough to think that you finally had managed to give your experiences a place.

A place… that is in alignment with what the thought, issue, remark of that person represented.

So, all is well.

In that moment you were hopeful for the future.

Then all of a sudden, just one day…

Then out of the blue…

When you least expected it…

Boom

There was that scent, a sound, image flash, those words, touch or maybe a physical shiver.

In a second your body and spirit reacted and brought you back to that memory.

Or should I say ‘brought the memory back to you’?

Then you felt rattled, your thoughts, mind or maybe body.

Emotions and feelings were clashing against each other and swirling around in your mind.

Like some volcanic heat is brewing up and you’re going to explode any minute.

You got sweaty and you didn’t know if you wanted to flee, lay down or maybe throw up.

At the same time you were also surprised, because you thought you had processed or detached yourself from that part of life.

You might have felt a different kind of anger.

Emotions came up that you didn’t even knew you had.

Disappointed simultaneously, you worked so hard to come to this point.

You got reminded of the fact that the body tracks our inner voices, our inner beliefs, our memories and reactions.

Sometimes trauma can come back again in a different form, just when you least expected it.

Because the body does keep score.